Since I first created this homepage and people heard about BDSM I got more and more confronted with the question what BDSM and what Dominants and submissives are.
For me BDSM is a lifestyle, for others it's a game to spice up otherwise dull relationships and for others it's simply insane and unhealthy. I agree that this lifestyle is for sure not everybodys "world" - but not everybody likes pizza with anchovis right? Opinions about this lifestyle may differ and I don't expect everybody to agree with all things happening in our lifestyle, but one thing is for sure - BDSM has one credo: Sane, Safe and Consensual. Everybody has it's own opinion about applicability and interpretation - personally I agree with Gloria Brames definition in her book "Different Loving".




We will not take it upon ourselves to define sanity. "Sane," in this context, however, generally means, first, that any given D/s activity is done for the pleasure of everybody involved. Erotic play should not cause emotional anguish; it should not abuse the submissives vulnerability or subject a submissive to unreasonable risk. And a submissive should not have to worry that the Dominant will exceed his or her personal limits.


This refers to physical safety, which is a cherished priority of "serious players" (i.e. those who are sincerely committed to D/s sexuality), who recognize the potential risk of inflicting extreme stimulus upon even a willing partner.
Safe Sex: Aid awareness and adherence to safer sex guidelines.
Protection of Vital Organs: no activity which injures vital organs.
No meaningful damage: no irreversible damage of any kind or degree of pain that the submissive did not request or knowledgeable consent to.


Consensuality is really the first law of the D/s community - and with good reason....Dominants, and especially novice Dominants, are often confused or distressed by comparisons with violent criminals. Submissives, meanwhile, struggle against comparisons with battered spouses or pathological victims. Clear, informed, and verbalized consent is the moral dividing line between brutality and D/s partners must voluntarily and knowingly give full consent to D/s activity before it begins.....Abuses are rarely tolerated: Dominants who mistreat submissives will be openly critized or ostracized.